Everything in Moderation

Usually a post about moderation involves food or drink of some kind, doesn't it?  Well, this one's not.  I learned a valuable lesson about technology in moderation last week and it's probably not what you think.

My husband and I really do try to keep technology to a minimum, but we don't always succeed.  The one thing we have been pretty consistent about is computer/video games.  We do not have a gaming system and the computer is off unless it's an emergency (see my previous post).  However, last weekend my oldest son, who is 4, asked me if he could play on the computer.  Usually I say no and direct him to something else, but he had been very good so I said yes.  I went to pbskids.org because they have really good games.  Once he picked a game, I thought I was going to have to sit with him and show him how to use the mouse, keyboard, etc.  To my surprise, he pretty much took over.  I only had to help him a few times because he is still trying to coordinate his fingers and sometimes he would right click by accident.

Here's where my realization came.  As I watched, it became clear to me that this is something I need to let him do more.  Yes, I said it, MORE.  Why?  Because it is actually going to be more detrimental to him (and later on, my younger son) if they don't know how to use a computer.  Think about it.  Computers are everywhere: schools, banks, even restaurants and gas stations.  They NEED to know how it works.  Being technologically literature is a must in our society.  But we still need to be careful because too much will be just as detrimental as none.  

So how do we strike this balance as parents?  I don't know.  If I had the answer, I would retire to the Bahamas right now.  The only thing I can do is share with you what we have decided is best as a family.

1. The computer is a privilege, not a right.  The boys' behavior determines whether or not they get to play. 
2. Mom and Dad decide what games and websites are appropriate. PERIOD.
3. We do not play every night.  Once or twice a week is all they get.  Once they are old enough for homework, of course this will need to be revised.
4. They will NOT get a computer, TV, or anything else like that in their bedrooms unless they have a job and buy it themselves.  If they are responsible enough to save and work for it, they can have it, but #1 and #2 still apply.  Same applies to having a cell phone.

Some of you may have whiz kids who enjoy computers and such and you let them have more time.  That's OK.  Some of you may have kids that have no interest and you have to force them on the computer to do the research for a homework assignment.  That's OK, too.  Whatever you decide is best is OK, just make sure everyone in the family knows the rules and expectations.