So I know I have been absent lately. But between school, work, and my family there is little time left at the end of the day. Every once in a while I think about this blog and worry about coming up with a new post. And then someone calls for me and it's forgotten once again. But you know what? It's OK. That has been my motto on this blog since the first post. And now I have something to back up the fact that it's not important for me to post all the time.
You may have seen the video floating around Facebook entitled "Look Up." If you haven't, the link is at the end of this post. I strongly encourage you to check it out. It really hit home for me and it probably will for you, too. The basic premise of the video is that people are spending too much time with technology and not enough time with other people. Social interaction is becoming a thing of the past. While the video has its critics, I think it is a wonderful reminder that we all need to be present, in the moment for our children and our families.
I have been guilty of spending some time scrolling through Facebook in the bathroom because I needed a few minutes away. But I don't think is OK is when you are using it as a substitute for interacting with your family. We've all seen the parents who take their kids to the mall and then sit on their phones while their kids run around terrorizing others in the play area. And then we promptly take out our phones to share our experience on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. When did it become OK to do that? It's simply because we can. It's there and it seems so present.
Electronics are a wonderful tool. But that's all they are: a tool. They should not be a replacement. I think it's perfectly fine to send your loved ones texts throughout the day to remind them that you are thinking about them. I think it's perfectly fine to put pictures on Facebook for family and friends that are not close (because let's be honest, printing and sending pictures is expensive!). But don't let yourself think that because you spent all day doing these things for them electronically that it's OK not to actually do it when they come home or when you do get to see them.
In our family, we eat dinner at the table as a family, with no electronics. Sometimes we leave the TV on, but that's a rare occasion. When my husband and I have our rare date nights, we sit across from each other and talk. No electronics. When we go out to eat as a family, we do not use our phones to pacify our boys unless the services is terrible and the food is taking too long. They know it's a time for us to be together, not to watch cartoons. No one in our house owns a tablet. We have a computer, it is not on when the boys are awake unless it's an extreme circumstance (like we just remembered a bill that needs to be paid NOW). We only use the laptops to Skype with family that is far away. Our boys play outside on a daily basis. They get time at daycare, but we also try to include time at home. They beg us to go outside instead of asking to watch TV. They do get to watch some TV, but even what they get often makes us wonder if they are getting too much.
I am not perfect and, let's face it, neither are you. And that's OK. We don't have to be. But we do have to present in our lives because no one else will. If you don't parent your children or show love to your spouse, someone else might. And that's not what any of us want. Humans are social creatures; we have been for a very long time. Many of us crave interaction with others and feel like we are getting through our phones. But that's not real. You can't touch or hug through the phone. Do it for real. Hug your kids. Kiss your husband. Give a high-five to the co-worker who just had something great happen. Whatever it takes.
Don't forget why you had kids. You most likely had them as an expression of love between you and your spouse or significant other. Be the tangible love in their lives that they are to you. Show them, tell them, just be there for them. I promise you won't regret it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY
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