It's November and that means everyone on social media is now listing things they are thankful for every day. I usually do not partake in this, because I feel like keeping things to myself most of the time. And I often forget to do it, which causes stress for me because then I feel like I have to make up for it and it's just a vicious cycle that makes being thankful feel like a chore instead of feeling actual gratitude. But this year, I have a lot to be thankful for and I thought it would be better to lay things out here instead of on a daily basis.
I am at a point in my life that I never dreamed of. I have a job that was never on my radar while I was in college as an undergraduate. But this job makes me very happy, my coworkers are fantastic, and I have a schedule flexible enough to be home with my family more than most people get to. When my boys were born, I missed them so much while I was at work. I remember asking other moms how they dealt with it and a lot of them said the feeling never goes away, it just gets easier. And I had trouble with that. I understand that the feeling of missing your children while at work/school diminishes as everyone gets used to a schedule. But I never thought it should be easy. For many parents, missing your kids might be an underlying feeling that doesn't get recognized on a regular basis, even though it's still there. But I never wanted to NOT feel that way. Missing them makes me appreciate them more when I am with them. And it helps them appreciate me. When I get home on the days I have to be in my office, I am always greeted by hugs, kisses, and a chorus of "I missed you, mommy!" and "I'm glad you're back!" This is important to me because when we had a more traditional schedule, I didn't get hugs, kisses, and a chorus of "I missed you, mommy!" and "I'm glad you're back!" Because we get more time as a family, we appreciate our time away as well as when we get back together.
I do not say this to knock families that function well in a more traditional sense. And I'm not saying that the way our family functions would work for everyone. What I am saying is that I made a choice to not settle when people told me I had no choice. I fought, alongside my husband, to make choices and options for our family that worked best for us. We did not accept that we had no other options. We did not accept that we did not have to be happy. We did not settle and the fight was so worth it.
I am also thankful that this job has allowed us to homeschool our boys. I can work from home to help be a part of it. And it allows us to seek all of the therapies they need to help them be successful and happy. It was a very difficult decision to make and we have had challenges. It's not easy, but it's what is best for the boys, and I'm thankful that we have the ability to choose what is best.
I am thankful that my husband did not have to rush into a job he doesn't want or like. My job takes care of our bills and while it's not making us wealthy, it allows my hubby to make better, informed choices. He spent the last 3 years working a job he hated so I could pursue my dreams and get the job I have. So the fact that this job is now also benefiting him makes me feel happy as well.
I'm thankful for our uniqueness as individuals and as a family. I'm thankful for our ability to live life the way we want and not accept anything less. I'm thankful for a husband who works with me in this and considers all options with me, regardless of what others say or do. I'm thankful we are not a traditional family. Because I think we would all be bored and unhappy trying to fit into that definition of a family.
My hope for you is that you can be thankful for your family, however it works for you. That you make choices that are best for you and your family, regardless of what others are doing or saying. If you don't like how things are going in your life, I hope that you have the courage and support to make the changes you want. Because you deserve to be thankful and happy, too.
