Where Did the Holiday Spirit Go?

Today I have a topic on my mind and I hesitate to write about it.  Not because I might make some enemies (which will probably happen), but because I'm ready to call out society on something that I think is a BIG issue.  Still with me?  Ok, here we go.

When I was a kid, I remember Christmas as an almost sacred experience.  I'm not talking about religion here, but the fact that everything shut down for Christmas Day.  With the exception of medical staff, emergency services, travel, and things like that, the whole world seemed to stop that day.  People weren't running around on Christmas Eve buying last minute presents or trying to get good deals.  If they did go out, it was to make sure they had everything they needed before stores closed up shop for the holiday.  Nobody would even think about touching Christmas Day; it was too important.

I'm not that old, either.  I'm almost 30, but that kind of mentality was there (so don't go thinking that I'm referring to the "good old days" from the 1950's because I'm not).  Why am I talking about this now?  Because I just found out that my husband has to work on Christmas Day.  Now, if he were a police officer, a firefighter, a doctor, or something like that, I would be ok with it.  That's a part of the job that people in those professions (among others) take on.  But he isn't any of those things.  Know what he does?  He's a SERVER.  In a restaurant.

Let that sink in for a minute.  He is going to be waiting tables for 12 hours on Christmas Day because the place he works for decided to be open (they were open on Thanksgiving Day as well).  They also decided that everyone who works on Christmas works a double shift, open to close.  Which means we are going to rearrange Christmas for our 2 boys, who are now 2 and 4.  They won't know because neither of them can read a calendar.  If we tell them it's Christmas, they will think it's Christmas.  But that isn't the point here.  The point is that we have to do it at all.

More and more places have started staying open at times that I think are ridiculous.  It started with small holidays: Memorial Day and Labor Day, things like that.  Then it started spreading.  Now stores are open on Thanksgiving Day for Black "Friday" specials.  To be fair, I have been Black Friday shopping a handful of times, but I always went as a personal favor to my sister.  And I have not, and will not, go out on Thanksgiving.  EVER.  Want to know why?  Because it's not fair to the people who have to sacrifice their holiday to deal with people who are ready to beat each other up to save a few bucks.  I worked Toys R Us on a Black Friday when I was in high school; it was one of the worst days of my life.  And people die on Black Friday, folks.  Want to explain to your kids that someone you love DIED to try to save money?  That is not a conversation I want to have or be the subject of.

Our society is forgetting how magical Christmas should be.  We are forgetting that it shouldn't be about presents (I mean really, who gives a car with a huge red bow on it as a gift?  Here, I bought you a present and you'll be making monthly payments on it for the 5 years!).  It should be about family, friends, and creating memories.  I am trying to prepare myself to raise my boys in a society that is slowly and surely loosing its grasp on what is important.  How am I going to explain that to them?  I don't have a clue.  But as long as they live in my house, they will understand that our family comes first and Christmas is a day that should serve as a reminder of that.  Every holiday should be a reminder of that.

If we, as a society, forget what should be important, what else is going to suffer?  Some companies are already paying employees extra for NOT using their vacation days.  Leisure time is starting to increase for Americans but we are still way behind other countries.   Just Google "how many weeks of vacation do Europeans get?" and start reading.  I think you'll be surprised. 

For those of you who think my husband and I are selling out because, yes, he is going to go to work on Christmas Day, think again.  We discussed the possibility of him just not going.  But the place he works for recently brought the hammer down and if he doesn't show, he runs the risk of getting fired.  And right now, we simply cannot take that risk.  Isn't that what happens to a lot of people?  People get sucked in to a job and then can't get out.  But it isn't just people working crummy jobs, there is a demand, too.  Stores are opening earlier around Thanksgiving because that's what people "want" and people show up.  At the risk of sounding harsh, if you shopped at a store on Thanksgiving Day, you are part of the problem.

So how do we fix it?  I don't have a good answer for that.  I can tell you what we are doing.  First, we shop for our kids throughout the year.  We watch sales in the paper and online, we browse the clearance aisles as stores, and we sign up for emails to places that advertise good deals.  For example, we got an Angry Birds bike, already assembled, for our oldest son for Christmas for $25.  It was the floor model from Wal-Mart.  If we wouldn't have been looking, we probably wouldn't have found it.  Second, by shopping this way, it is much easier on our budget.  Instead of trying to spend several hundred dollars at once or making said money stretch as far as possible, we are able to absorb the cost over the course of the year.  Third, in our house, we do not go out on holidays.  We plan ahead and make sure we have everything we need beforehand.  And if we forget something, too bad so sad.  We do without.  This year it meant I didn't get stuffing on Thanksgiving because we forgot the bacon in my great-grandmother's recipe.  So I'll be making it for Christmas instead.  Guess what?  I survived.  And lastly, we make sure our kids understand how important family is.  We don't really talk about it at their age, but we show it.  We spend time together and do fun things to create memories with each other.  And THAT, is the most important thing.

Ok, I think my rant is over. 

The "Truth" About Santa Claus

I have been seeing things on Facebook during this holiday season that are starting to get on my nerves.  The biggest one is that some parents are putting down other parents for "lying" to their children.  About what, you ask?  SANTA CLAUS.  Are you kidding me?  I take offense to this because my boys do believe in Santa Claus and as far as I'm concerned, I will do whatever it takes to let them believe as long I can.

I believed in Santa growing up.  I have some amazing and fantastic memories of things Santa did.  And none of those memories, NONE OF THEM, ever changed even when I stopped believing in Santa Claus as a single person.  As an adult, I do still believe in Santa, but in a different way.  Those people who go around paying lay-aways that are about to be cancelled?  That's Santa.  The people who put thousands of dollars or rare coins in the Salvation Army pots?  That's Santa.  All of the people who donated money and toys to non-profits?  That's Santa.  Santa DOES exists, if you choose to believe in him.

The people who say I am lying to my children, in my opinion, are wrong.  When they are old enough to start asking questions, I will tell them that Santa is not the person they thought he was.  But I will also show them how to be Santa for others.  I seriously doubt there are children out there who are permanently scarred for life because they found out the truth about Santa Claus.  And if there are, there is probably more to the story.

Will I "lie" to my children about the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, and Fred (our Elf on the Shelf)?  Absolutely.  Because childhood is a magical time and place; it only happens once.  I feel like it is my job as a parent to make it as special and as magical as possible.  It will grow their minds and their imaginations.  It will teach them how to dream and how to have fun.  Will they be disappointed when they no longer believe with that childlike faith?  I'm sure they will.  But they will ALWAYS have the memories I helped create for them.  Nothing can take that away from them.

The people who say I am teaching my children to be dishonest, in my opinion, are again wrong.  Santa taught me how to give without expecting anything in return.  Think about it: Santa flies all over the world to give gifts to good children.  What does he ask for in return?  NOTHING.  Sure, he gets cookies and milk, but not every family can do that.  Does he punish families that don't leave him food?  Of course not.  He gives out of the goodness of his heart, because he loves you.  Is that a bad thing to teach my children?  I don't think so.  I would hope they learn to be generous to people who are less fortunate.  My boys won't remember the Christmas that we only had toys because they were donated to us.  I was laid off of work while pregnant and all our savings was spent on survival.  People I don't know, I will never know, made donations to local organizations to help families like us.  If I can teach my boys to do the same once they are old enough, then sure, I will "lie" about Santa Claus.

Just to be clear, I am not condemning any parent for his or her choices.  Every parent is free to teach their children what they want.  Just don't tell me I am damaging MY children for allowing them to believe in Santa Claus.  And deep down, don't we all want to believe?