Today is an anniversary for our family. Something important happened 2 years ago, and I almost forgot. But I'm not upset about not remembering. Let me explain.
Two years ago today, we brought our youngest son home from the hospital after he spent 10 days in the NICU. He was born on June 17th and on the 19th we were discussing going home the next day. I was alone in the hospital with him because my husband was with our older son. I was trying to get up (I had a c-section) when the nurse noticed his diaper was dirty and asked me if she could change him. I said sure because I wanted to get in the chair so I could hold him. And then she said two words that changed everything: "That's bizarre."
I asked her what it was and she said, "There's blood in his diaper." I jumped out of that chair, totally forgetting about my incision (but I paid for in pain much later after the adrenaline wore off). She asked me if I had taken his temperature recently. No. He hadn't been circumcised yet. Confused, she told me she was going to take him to the nursery to have him checked and she whisked him away.
There I was, by myself, with no idea what was happening to my baby. I called my husband and tried to tell him what was going on but I was crying so hard I'm not really sure how much he understood. But he got the message that I needed him there ASAP.
When he got there, it was a blur of nurses, doctors, and paperwork. I remember they let me give him a kiss before they took him to the NICU. Beyond that, a lot of what happened is fuzzy for me.
They tested the blood to see if it was his or mine. He was born screaming so they wondered if he swallowed some of my blood. No, it was his. And the bleeding wouldn't stop. His platelets were low. He ended up needing a transfusion of platelets and then a few hours later, he got a whole blood transfusion. In total, he ended up with 5 IV lines: one in each hand, two in his belly button, and a pic line in his shoulder. He was under an oxygen tent because he couldn't stabilize his oxygen levels. The worse part was that we weren't allowed to touch him except for specific times.
Gradually he got better, but it was a fight and we all knew it. I went home without him and I cannot even describe how that feels. I pray none of you reading this ever have to go through something like that. We spent 2 nights caring for him in the hospital before he gained enough weight for us to take him home. Putting him in the car seat was the best moment we had during that time.
Anyway, my mom asked me the other day to send her the date we brought him home. And I couldn't remember; I had to look it up. At first, I felt bad for not remembering. How could I forget such an important day? But as I thought about it, I realized I forgot because it's not that important anymore. He just turned 2 and is in perfect health. He has not had any other health problems since, other than the occasional cold and ear infection (admittedly, he has had 2 sets of ear tubes and his adenoids removed, but everything went perfectly for those).
So do I feel bad for not remembering? A little, but not really. And you know what? That's ok.
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